


The Sense that I am Loved

by kurropie



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga), Devilman Crybaby - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Drowning, Emotions, Fluff and Smut, Gratuitus amounts of smooching, M/M, Mutual Pining, Near Death Experiences, Sexual Content, They're both feeling lots of emotions in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 02:26:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14251071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurropie/pseuds/kurropie
Summary: [ His heart was pounding and he could feel something rising within him. Filling up his chest, was a feeling he was both sure and also unsure of. It was rushing in and ready to burst. ]Words hold a power that even Ryo realizes he had no control over in the end. They can make him do things he never thought he'd do. Feel things he never thought he'd feel. Akira held dominion over the threshhold and he opened the gates to let Ryo in.





	The Sense that I am Loved

**Author's Note:**

> I'll apologize up front by saying that this is incredibly long, but it was fun to write and I do hope everyone enjoys it! This is the kinda fic where there's not a lot of tragedy, so don't expect any character death (besides demons I suppose) because I'm actually a huge weenie who wants everyone to live. 
> 
> As a side note : Expect the line breaks to represent and set up jumps in time for this story! So the scenes don't always connect to each other so much aside from call backs to previous events.

> “It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done.”  
>  ― Vincent van Gogh

* * *

Ryo truly admired Akiras compassion for others. It was something he felt that he was incapable of. Despite the fact that he surely did care about Akira, he found himself unable to truly feel this way about other people. He didn’t cry for them, he rarely felt pity and he was much too blunt to give someone kind words. He encouraged Akira, pushed him even, but it seemed to be lacking something still. 

He felt that he’d never figure it out. Like it was one of those mysteries he just wasn’t meant to solve. 

Studying human nature and even going in depth with how the human mind works in terms of these feelings was easy. He knew all about it, but to understand it on his own level...that seemed so difficult. He thought something was wrong with him, and maybe there was, but Ryo tried not to dwell on it. It made something odd stir in his chest and he wasn’t in the mood to ever address it.

He watches Akira devour plates of food that he had Jenny prepare for him, actually smiling a little as his friend made noises of satisfaction while stuffing meat into his mouth. Admittedly, Akira was always the only one to get him to even crack a smile. The only one to stick with him even when he did...unorthodox things. Ryo always appreciated this in some way, and it always surprised him that no matter how out of control things seemed to get and no matter how many times he and Akira would have a fight, Akira never left his side.

He never stayed angry at him.

He always forgave.

Ryo was truly grateful for this.

* * *

“Ryo...don’t you ever wanna do anything besides getting absorbed into your computer? Or looking for demons?” Akira asks as he rapidly flips through channels on the large flat screen in Ryos living room, taking up some of the space on his end of the couch as he spread out some. Ryo remains silent as his fingers flew across the keyboard while typing away.

“Hmm? Oh...not really.” he says, shrugging even as Akira pouts, huffing at him. “ Not anything I can really think of.”

“That’s literally no fun at all. You should come out with me. We can go somewhere fun---you even said you weren’t doing anything but answering emails all day.”

“I did say that. However we can’t drop our guard just because it’s a slow day.” he answers back, reaching over to grab his minimalistic white coffee cup, sipping gingerly. Akira narrows his eyes and sits up, tilting his head to the side. 

“I know that, but it’s not like we can't just slack off a little bit. Come on Ryo, I like hanging in your house with you all the time but...I wanna do something fun with you, ya know? LIke how we used to.” he says sheepishly. Ryo actually reacts to that, his mind flooding with memories of when they were children. Ryo was very fond of these memories. Of a time when he felt free and well...actually very happy. He never openly showed it, but all the things he did with Akira back then made him feel, as some would put it, tingly inside. Even so now, just having Akira close by was enough to make him feel content and at ease, but...the idea of doing something with him.

Making memories with Akira and just being able to enjoy more of his company in a wholesome way? It was something Ryo treasured more than anything.

“Im...well...I suppose we could do something. If it’ll get you to stop being a whiny baby.” he says, setting the mug down and reaching up to close his laptop. Akira laughs and pushes his shoulder hard, making him sputter a bit when the other teen pulled him in for a hug. 

“Great! I know so many places we can go to.” he says excitedly. Ryo frowns, his little eyebrows furrowing as he huffed at Akiras rough nature (though to be fair, he liked how much more touchy Akira seemed to have become.)

Once Akira decided they should visit the zoo, Ryo tended to the preparations. Buying their day passes on his phone and getting the directions via his gps. Akira was excited enough for possibly a whole group of people, telling Ryo about the new animals they’d have gotten in while the blonde drove the car. He would glance over at Akira, seeing him so animated while talking. His lips tug into a small smile, enjoying seeing Akira so enthusiastic.

Sometimes he wished some of that would rub off on himself.

They arrive to the zoo being slightly busy, which did put Ryo off a bit, but he would get over it for Akiras sake. He almost wished he’d brought his gun with him, only because he was wary about demons possibly showing up, but Akira had to talk him out of it. Calling him “extra” for wanting to pack so much heat if they were just going to the zoo to have fun. He wished Akira would understand that taking precautions wasn't anything to call ‘extra.’

Once inside, Akira grabs his wrist and immediately takes him over to the first exhibit he sees; an enclosure for the bengal tiger. The creature was majestic, albeit a bit lazy as it moved about slowly before flopping down onto the sun kissed ground.

“Tigers are so cool. They’re cute too.” Akira comments, leaning on the rails as other people watched and took pictures. Ryo rests his hands on the railing as well, watching the animal stretch and its jaws open in a wide yawn.

“Yes, they are beautiful. I’ve seen them in the wild a few times while I was traveling. Mostly doing research on the lands and recording their presence in the wild. “ 

“You saw them up close?! Thats so...I wish I could--I mean, we sorta are now but I mean like...in its element, I guess.” he says, scratching is cheek as he watched another tiger walk up and around the first one. Ryo laughs a little, shaking his head some.

“I wasn't very close, only enough to get good video. They are still wild animals.”

“Oh, yeah you’re right…aren’t they still endangered?”

“Yes, unfortunately. However, there are still efforts being made to conserve the species and try to save it from the cusp of extinction. That is what some of what my research and time was spent on at one point.” Akira looked impressed, proud even that Ryo admitted to doing something like this.

“You’re amazing, Ryo.” he says, wrapping his arm around the blondes shoulders. Ryo was a bit confused by the gesture, not sure why his face felt hot when Akira pulled him in closer for a sort of hug. “Im...I guess I’m surprised. I remember when we were kids and you wanted to uh...mercy kill that kitten I wanted to save.” he says, not trying to bring up any sore memories, but Ryo wasn't phased too much. Instead, he felt something welling up in his chest at the memory when he thought about it.

“That is...somewhat the reason I was doing it. I remember you trying so hard to save that kitten. I know for a fact that if an animal is on the brink of death, there are only so many things you can do for it.” he says, unsure of what to do with his hands as he fiddled with his own fingers. He was never this fidgety before when he talked, but saying this to Akira made his heart beat faster and he found it hard not to preoccupy his hands. “I felt that I could possibly do something worthwhile for what was left. For what was still alive. I admit you inspired me...for a long time. I didn't stop thinking about it even after I was taken away from you.”

Ryo didn't understand why he felt the need to do what he did at first, but something inside him was telling him to try and make a change. It always was. That nagging voice in the back of his mind. Those sorrowful tears he remembered seeing. Those cries---the pleading...the utter flow of compassion from those soft hazel eyes that still looked at him the same way even now.

Akira was always the one who made him act, even when he wasn’t sure why he was doing it beyond that.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Akira sniffled, wiping a few stray tears from his face. Oh so emotional, Akira was. Ryo admired that too. 

“Please don’t start blubbering on me. We are in public...you’re much too old to sob like a baby, Akira.” he says, reaching up to wipe a tear from his cheek. Akira just laughs and pulls him into a stronger embrace.

“I know but you’re just so...a lot of things! I can't even say amazing because you’re more than that too.” he says, grinning at him. Ryo shakes his head and pulls away from him some, giving him a little smile. 

“You don't need to flatter me. “

“I mean it though.”

Ryo doesn’t question it and doesn’t argue back, instead he just grabs Akiras wrist this time and tugs him along. 

“Come on then, they do have more animals than just this. We don’t want to miss out.” he says, looking over at Akira who just grinned and started leading the way again.

It wasn’t so bad, letting his guard down a bit and just enjoying some time with Akira. He actually had fun, like when they were younger. He snuck pictures of Akira, and even allowed him to use his phone to get a selfie of the two of them together. Ryo didn’t let him see it as they wandered through the inside of one of the buildings to look at the smaller animals, but he set their photo as his background. Both of them looking up at the camera, with Akiras toothy grin and Ryos oddly sheepish smile as they both held up peace signs.

This was another memory he wanted to keep for as long as he was sure he could.

* * *

The demon Akira fights this time nearly kills Ryo in the large indoor public pool they followed it to. He was more or less trying to help Akira take it down rather than video tape what was going on, putting it away when the fight got really hectic. It was a large grotesque beast with tentacles, claws and a mouth like a crocodile. It wasn't exactly huge, but it was big enough to give Akira some problems. 

He ran around the edge, shotgun in hand as he tried to aim for one of its eyes, but to no avail as it thrashed and threw Akira around like a rag doll. 

“Akira, keep him there!” he calls out, steadying the weapon in his hand. As he started to fire the shot , the demon whips a tentacle out and grabs his leg, the rush of him being pulled down gave him whiplash . He flings the gun as his body hit the floor and he was dragged into the water, gasping and trying to claw away. He struggles, more tentacles wrapping around him to keep him under.

This was the most panicked Ryo had ever been in a long time, and all he could think of was when he was a child. Drifting in the ocean aimlessly. At that time he was truly afraid, the dark cold waters so harsh and loud. Water in his lungs and ears and nobody could hear him cry out. Helpless and lonely, things got dark far too often and his lungs burned. He yells out into the water, bubbles rising. Tentacles around him tightened and suction cups burned him as if they were searing through his clothes. It was too tight and too much. He could barely make out the demon and Akira from in the bleary water, but he felt like he was starting to fade.

He truly hated the dark.

Akira roars, finally getting a hold of the situation when he didn't see or hear Ryo, only noticing the thrashing body under the water. In a state of rage , panic and worry he grabs a hold of the demons jaws, a maniacal grin on his face as he breaks open the creatures mouth, splitting it half way. Sulfur like blood spewed around, on him and into the water. He lets go and drops down into the pool, rushing to reach the blonde who seemed lifeless in a tangle of loose tentacles. He jets out of the water with Ryo in his arms and away from the dirtied pool.

“Shit, shit, shit!” he says, transforming back into his human self. Ryo looked paler than normal, coupled with the fact that he was cold and not moving. Akira was not faring well, breathing hard and feeling a overwhelming sense of anxiety welling up in his chest. 

This was the last thing he ever wanted to happen. The mere thought of Ryo getting hurt on their demon hunts always haunted him and seeing it happening now was destroying him on the inside.

He felt like he was trying to help that kitten all over again.

“Ryo, Ryo come on, please! Y-you can't--- Fuck!” he says, tears starting to well up as he tried to concentrate, the blonde laid out before him. He remembers a thing or two about CPR, having learned it in school during a physical education class . While his hands shook, he desperately wanted to get Ryo back from the drink of death. He wanted this to work. It had to work.

He was scared, more scared than when he first went to the Sabbath with Ryo, but he had to try. Akira never wanted to believe in giving up.

Water drained from Ryos mouth and nose first as he gently handled him, and then he starts the process of reviving him with his shaky hands. He tilts Ryos head back and pinching his nose as he sealed his mouth over the blondes. He breathes deeply into his mouth, tears streaming down his face. He continues on until Ryo starts to jerk. He removes his mouth and lets him cough up water, a wheeze sounding in his throat as he tried to breathe on his own. Akira nearly yells, mostly shocked at the sudden movement from his friend.

Ryos eyes were wide and bloodshot and he panics, not sure where he was at the moment but he clings to Akira. His body ached and he felt like his lungs were on fire. His brain felt overloaded and all he can think about was distant memories of himself falling and reaching for something to save him from it. 

“Ryo!” Akira sobs, holding him close. Ryo was cold, a chill all the way down in his bones, and yet Akira’s body heat, his warmth was making him feel at ease. He wanted to sleep so badly, he wanted to do anything but be here remembering things he didn't want to think about.

“You’re okay---you’re okay.” Akira kept repeating, his lips pressing soft against the crown of his wet head. “I-I gotta get you to a hospital.” he says softly, both of them just breathing for the most part.

Ryo listens, just barely nodding as he was still in a state of shock. Despite this, he still felt as if everything would be fine.

So long as Akira stayed with him, he’d be safe.

* * *

A week or so after the pool incident, Ryo noticed that Akira was getting a bit...clingy.

Not that it was a bad thing, but he stayed much closer to him than he normally would. Snuggling up to him on the couch, constantly checking up on him and he even seemed to call more often when he wasn't there visiting. He even brought Ryo food, all sorts of things he did not normally eat like snacks and fast food. 

While he wasn’t a fan of most of these things, he appreciated that Akira was being so thoughtful of his well being.

He did discover, however, that he really liked macaroons and started buying them himself whenever he went out.

“Akira...I know you’re worried about me, but I’m fine. Really.”

“I know. But I’m just...I can’t help it.” he says, blushing as he tried to feed Ryo a spoonful of the flan he brought with him. The blonde did take the offering however, looking at him from under his lashes as he ate the sweet tasting pudding.

“I told you to let me worry about you. You’re the one doing all the fighting.”

“Yea, but you---you got hurt. You almost…” he trails off, looking upset as he sighed and rubbed at his eyes a bit. “I can't let that happen again. I almost lost you and I don't know what I’d do if...if I really did.” he says, sniffling a little.

Ryo reaches a hand out to touch his wet cheek, wiping his tears with his thumb even though they just kept flowing.

“Im sorry, Akira. I try hard to just make sure I’m the one protecting you. That I don't allow anything awful to happen to you.” he says, turning toward him, their knees touching when he did. “ I never think about myself in these situations. I just think about you and the fact that you’re risking your life for something I brought you into. I never thought about...if something were to happen to me.”

Akira listens, nodding and leaning into the soft palm of Ryos hand, his larger and more calloused one touching it to keep it there.

“It’s not as if I don’t know how much you care about me. I’m grateful that you even put up with me.” he says, laughing softly. “So really, it means a lot to me that you care so much. That you’d do all these things just to make me feel safe and make sure I’m okay.”

“Of course! You’re my best friend Ryo...I’ll always care about you. You’re the closest person to me. I never want you to be scared or alone. I like that you want to protect me,but I wanna protect you too. You’re important to me.”

Important.

A wave of bliss washed over Ryo at the sound of that. Akira felt that he was important. Enough to protect. Enough to feel the highest levels of compassion for. What more could Ryo ask for, with his friend devoting this much to him?

He didn’t know what he did to deserve someone as beautiful as Akira.

“You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever known, Akira.” he comments, his cheeks tinted pink when Akira smiled warmly at him. “Your heart seems almost too big for your chest.”

“I’m glad it is. How else can I spread all these good vibes around.” he says before grinning, his tears finally drying up.

That’s what he adores about Akira the most, his ability to smile even after he has shed enough tears to flood a room.

* * *

“Ryo have you ever like...dated anybody?”

The question caught Ryo completely off guard,making him pause the youtube video he was watching to stare at Akira for the seemingly ludicrous question. 

“Im...no. I never have.” he says, cheeks pink as he stared at his computer, glancing down at Akira as he lounged next to him while watching tv. He doesn’t understand why Akira would ask him that. Ryo never had bothered to really think that deeply about starting that sort of relationship with anybody for a long time. He was wrapped up in research, lectures and teaching so it just wasn't anything he thought about often or at all.

However.

He knows he’s had ideas about it. Concerning himself and Akira. He would sometimes catch himself watching corny romance movies when he was alone, mostly because they provided him with some comedy since he could never take them seriously and tended to critique them. But even as he had low expectations of these movies, they made him imagine scenarios. Dates, kissing, touching and just being with someone. In their arms and against their body.

Often times he thought about this with Akira and he honestly never turned his tv off so fast. 

It wasn’t even like he hated the idea, it was just so utterly embarrassing and strange. He didn’t know what was going on in his own head half the time.

“Why do you ask?” he decides to say, watching Akira tear open a bag of chips to eat out of. He sees Akira shrug, not sure if that was a blush he saw creeping on his face.

“No uh...no real reason, I just wondered. I mean...you’re smart, quirky---” he pauses to shove some chips into his mouth, chewing for a moment before swallowing so he could talk. “- interesting, rich and...really pretty.” he says softly. Ryo doesn’t know what to say. He was mostly stuck on Akira calling him pretty. “So i was just uh...surprised that you're single.”

Akira thinks he’s pretty and its enough to make Ryo almost turn red.

Something was definitely wrong with him.

“N...no, I never had time for anything like that. My focus was very, well, on one track.” he explains, glancing over at Akira and finding it ridiculously hard to look at him now. “I mean, now I’m not so busy, somewhat, but I...maybe.” he says, not sure what he was doing or why he was saying these things. Ryo might not have been interested in dating before, but the key fact that Akira was a factor in this made him open up to that idea wholeheartedly. 

“Oh, I get you. That’s good though!” he replies back, shoving more chips into his mouth. “That you wanna um, try that, I mean.” he adds clumsily, smiling a little and staring ahead. That was definitely a blush on his face.

“And what about you, Akira? Have you ever done that? Dated anyone?”

“No! No, I haven’t. Ever.” he replies quickly. His nervousness made Ryo smile a little, leaning back against the couch as he pulled his laptop into his lap. 

“I never had anybody really come at me about stuff like that...I didn’t really think about it much either---till now, I mean. “ Akira starts to explain, wiping his hands on a napkin he had nearby. “ I got a lot of love letters in my shoe locker at school though...its flattering but I uh...it’s embarrassing...plus I don’t even know most of the girls who put them in there.”

The idea of this had Ryo laugh, covering his mouth with his hand as his shoulders shook a little, his soft chuckle muffled against his palm.

“That’s so cliche.”

“It is! I can’t believe it sometimes.” he says, laughing as he felt a little more at ease. 

“What about that Makimura girl? You don't like her? She is cute.” he asks, seeing Akira stare at him with wide eyes.

“Miki?!” he says, sounding shocked. “I like Miki, but I’ve never thought about her like that. Even now it's kinda...weird.” he says shaking his head a bit. “You think Miki is cute though? Do you like her Ryo?” he says, grinning at his friend slyly. Ryo blinks, tilting his head to the side innocently.

“ I admit, she is, but I’m not...into girls.” He admits, blushing as he opened up another tab on his computer, starting to check his twitter for a bit to distract himself from the weird feeling in his gut. He didn't know why it felt like his stomach was sinking after revealing that to Akira. What else was he supposed to say? It was the truth and Ryo really wasn’t one to just lie. He knew Akira would never judge him, but he hoped this wouldn’t...strain anything. For all this odd thoughts of Akira and dating, he never thought to consider that maybe Akira was only attracted to girls.

“Ohhh---that's okay! It's great---I mean that , you don't have to like girls to date somebody!” Akira answers, that blush back on his face. Ryo wasn't sure what that meant. Akira didn't seem embarrassed but...something else was up, but Ryo couldn’t really place what it was.

“Thank you for understanding. I just don't...feel the same about them as others would.” he says softly, starting to scroll up and down his slightly quiet twitter feed. “I also just...never really connected with other people...except for you.” he adds, a soft pink blush on his cheeks again. They felt so warm and he really hoped Akira didn’t notice. He glances at him, seeing him fidget with the remote in his hands.

They couldn't even look at each other without some embarrassment or shyness. Ryo really hopes he hadn’t ruined the mood.

“I’m glad we can have talks like this you know? I feel good knowing you can share stuff with me too. I’m proud of you for opening up.” Akira says, looking over at him finally.

“Of course. I trust you. I know that you wouldn’t judge me.” he says, blushing when Akira reached over at grabbed his hand that was resting on the couch. He squeezes it in his larger hand, his long fingers threading between his slender ones. Something surged through Ryo. Something that felt like fire spreading through his body and honestly he didn’t know if he was excited or scared.

“ I don’t have anything to judge you over.” he says, smiling at him warmly. Akira just holding his hand was enough to make him feel that weird tingle in his body again. He welcomed it without another thought.

* * *

“Akira, I know you said Ryo is your friend, but you never bring him around.” Miki points out while Akira helped her wash and dry the dishes. Akira’s eyebrows raise up, not expecting her to even bring this up at all. He doesn’t say anything, too busy trying to think of something to say. Despite Ryo doing all these different things with other people, he could be oddly anti social when he wanted to be. He claimed to be busy so much and never expressed too much interest in getting to know the family Akira had been living with.

“Yea I...it’s not like I don’t want to, but Ryo is busy!” he says, smiling at her a bit. “It’s why I usually am the one visiting him. I mean...I could ask him and maybe he’ll say yes.” he says, rubbing at his cheek. Miki blinks, nodding her head before going back to washing one of the bowls she’d picked up.

“That would be nice. I’d like to get to know him. Especially since he’s your best friend---and Im starting to think he’s something more to you---he did give you that bike, and there’s no way that was cheap!” she notes, laughing when Akira fumbled the bowl she handed to him. He makes a face, his cheeks red as he couldn’t believe Miki would say that. Akira was glad Miki was over that first time ‘meeting’ Ryo, when he fired off a high powered rifle at the dock. Even Ryo admitted maybe that was too strong of an entrance (though he suggested maybe he should have flashed a simple pistol instead.)

“Are you guys talking about Akiras sugar daddy?!”

“Tare! Don’t say that!” Miki says as she tries to stop her laughter but seeming shocked, her brother grinning at the two of them as Akira groaned and his entire face hot with embarrassment.

“He’s not my sugar daddy!” he says, rubbing his hands down over his eyes. 

“Okay, you guys are talking about his boyfriend, then.” Tare says, leaning up against the counter between the two of them.

Akira wasn’t even embarrassed at this point, he was however, having some of his much more intimate fantasies shoved back in his face with the idea that Ryo would be his boyfriend being so prominent in his thoughts lately.

“Oh, leave Akira alone!” she says, flicking her wet hand at him. “And just how do you even know what a sugar daddy is?” she asks, narrowing her eyes at the child, who just grinned sheepishly and pretended like he had to go tend to something with the cat . She sighs as he runs off , looking over at Akira who looked like he forgot how to breathe. She starts to smile and waves her hand in his face to bring him back to reality.

“You spaced out on me for a moment.”

“Sorry I just...that caught me off guard so hard.” he says, looking exasperated.

“I saw.” she says, giggling and handing him a pot to dry off this time. “ So...you looked really flustered when I suggested it and when Tare said something about Ryo being your boyfriend.” she points out, and Akira just feels his stomach lock up and practically squirm. Miki was way too observant and while he found it to be one of her clever traits, he also hated how she tended to notice things. 

He looks off to the side, slowly drying off the pan while feeling sheepish. “You don’t have to tell me or anything, I’m just teasing.” she says, smiling and brushing some soap suds on his face to cheer him up. Akira does smile, but honestly he couldn't really...keep it to himself. He trusted Miki and there was no way he could keep hiding anything. It was bad enough not telling her what he actually was and about that night he saved her, but he could at least be honest about this.

“He’s...he’s not.” he says while glancing at Miki, who furrowed her eyebrows and looked a bit worried. It seemed like she was going to say something else, but he takes the opportunity to keep going, figuring it was now or never. He rubs the soap off of his face and starts to ring the drying cloth in his hands nervously.

“But...I uh...I want him to be.” he adds softly, ducking his head. Miki gasps, her eyes wide as he looked at him.

“Aw! Akira!” she says, grinning at him and gently bumping him with her hip. “That’s so sweet.” she says, eyes sparkling a bit. “Are you planning on asking him?” 

“ I want to! I’m just...nervous. I’ve never done this before and I’m sorta afraid of scaring him off.” or worse, ruining their friendship. It was a relief to know Ryo liked guys, but he wasn’t sure if Ryo would even like Akira that way. He didn’t bother to ask him what his type was and didn’t even think very far ahead.

“I don’t think you’ll scare him off. From what you described, he sounds like he’d listen to what you’d have to say.”

“Yea, but I don’t even know what type of guy he likes.What if he likes super nerdy guys who are wicked geniuses like him---or super handsome buff guys? I don’t fit any of that.” he says, sighing and rubbing his hands down his face. He shouldn’t be so worried about this, but it was plaguing his heart and his thoughts.

“Don’t be discouraged. Just tell him how you feel! I think it’ll be fine.” she retorts with a smile, starting to dry her hands off on a towel. “He’s your friend, and honestly even if he says he’s not interested, he’ll still be there for you. You guys seem like you’re heavily connected, so I think it would be impossible to separate the two of you.

Her words of encouragement did make him feel better. The idea of rejection did hurt and while he did consider that outcome, he really did hope for the best and honestly was banking on not screwing up his confession to Ryo.

“Plus you’re pretty handsome compared to most guys. Im sure Ryo even thinks that.” she adds with a wink and a smile. He feels another hot blush creep up on his face at that, whining at her for teasing him like that.

* * *

Akira highly considered asking Ryo about maybe dating.

Not even maybe, he seriously wanted to ask him if he wanted to go out, but Akira wasn’t sure if Ryo was even interested in him that way. Despite knowing Ryo liked guys, he still worried about the fact that they’d probably just remain friends and not anything more than that. Of course, he’d respect that. Never would he be sour or salty about Ryo turning him down.

But it still made his heart ache just thinking about it. Maybe that was selfish of him, but its just how he felt.

If anybody saw the way he looked at Ryo now, they’d be able to tell he was pining. Watching him longingly when they spent time together and glad the blonde didn't notice him staring or his subtle glances. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to explain himself otherwise.

After getting over his fear, the anxiousness building up within himself, he starts trying to tell Ryo. To ask him the question that’s been on his mind for over a week or so. Lo and behold, it’s like fate didn’t want him to actually accomplish this. If he didn’t have obligations elsewhere, then he was too busy fighting demons and making sure that Ryo was well out of harm's way and not at risk of another outcome like the pool fight.

He always either ended up exhausted or feeling too awkward to even say anything to him. It was grating on his own nerves and it mostly wasn't anyone's fault in particular, but he still became frustrated. 

Of all people to say anything to him, its Jenny who confronts him about it one day while Ryo was busy. He was eating at the dinner table, idly munching on the fried chicken that she laid out for him per Ryos request as he watched him work diligently on his computer. She leans forward a bit, getting his attention after he realised how close she was and nearly flipped the table over in surprise.

“I don’t mean to startle you. I was just going to tell you that waiting around won’t make things happen any faster.” she says, blinking at him. He breathes out of his nose, mouth full of food and his cheeks full. He swallows, still staring at her. Her expressions were sometimes unnerving, but this was probably the most normal he’d ever seen her look, though she was still grinning at him somewhat.

“Wh-what are you talking about?”

“I know how you feel about him. I figured I could help push you along.” she replies, standing straight up again. “ I can see you’re waiting for a good moment, but as a suggestion I’m going to say that no matter what you have to say to him, Ryo will always listen to you.”

Akira really wasn’t sure if he was surprised or not that Jenny knew what he’d been thinking for some time now. The tension in his shoulders subsides and they lower as he sighs and looks over at Ryo, who was currently away from his computer and talking on the phone with someone, the conversation sounding like he was agreeing to give a lecture at one of the schools in the city.

“Yea, but I can barely get out a word to him. We’re both so busy and I’m kinda losing my nerve.” he says, feeling a bit put out that he was admitting to losing the confidence he gained from being merged with a demon. He’d almost laugh about it if he didnt feel a bit sad over it.

“There’s no time like the present.” she just says, patting his shoulder before she leaves him to get up to her own devices, cleaning off the plates that were now devoid of the meat he devoured earlier.

Akira just watches her momentarily, a bit confused, but he does feel like he understands what she meant. He dwells on this heavily, knowing that the longer he waited to tell Ryo the less chances he’d have to be able to finally just get it out.

The next demon fight he has was almost comical, the demon oversized and fat but somehow annoying to fight. This one is able to create small, flying versions of itself that Ryo was shooting down every time he saw one with a mounted sniper rifle.

After Akira finally gets a good, lethal blow, things were over once Ryo was done taking aim at the flying little shits that reminded Akira of gremlins. Akira was still shifted, covered in yellow ichor and making a disgusted face at the guts and viscera on the ground and some covering him. It was typical of fights like this, but he still hated it. Ryo meets him where he stands, rifle tucked under his arm as he came close to the dirtied devilman.

“Excellent work, Akira.” he replies with his usual soft smile. He looked so pristine in his all white outfit, only the bottoms of his boots getting any of the yellow fluid on them.

“Yea, but now I look like I was handling an explosive mustard packet.” he replies, nearly wanting to shake it all off like a dog would when it was wet. He was sure Ryo wouldn't like that however, so he refrains from doing so.

“Take it as evidence of your victory.” the blonde replies with a soft chuckle. Akira blushes, loving to hear his soft melodic laughter.

“Yea, I guess I could.” he says, starting to walk back with him to where his car was hidden. Once they were close, he shifts back into his normal form. He watches Ryo fish a towel from his trunk, just so Akira would wipe the majority off of him. He’d get the rest after a shower at Ryos place. He watches him carefully, seeing him put the rifle back in its long, stark white case that he kept back there as well. His heart was pounding, lungs full of air that he inhaled and promptly exhaled. It was now or never ( or possibly another time) , but had to say something. It had been eating away at him for so long that he was sure nothing would be left it he didn’t get it out now.

“Ryo.” he speaks out , voice loud at first before he quiets down. Ryo turns toward him eyebrows raised as he pulls a large towel out of the back of the car.

“Yes? Is something wrong?” he asks, worry evident on his face. It was so cute to Akira to see him look like that.

“Nothing! Nothings wrong I’m just...I have to tell you something.” he starts, blushing as Ryo came close and started to wipe his arms down, delicate fingers grasping on the clean part of his bicep. Their eyes met and Akira nearly holds his breath.

“I figure I can start to clean you as I listen.” he explains. Akira nods, watching him carefully.

“Okay...I meant to say I want to ask you something. It’s kinda important, like...no, sorry, it’s super important.” he says, starting to ramble. This was not great, but it was something. “And It’s not bad, its good! But I just have...a question.”

“Hmm, what kind of question?”

 _A really hard question ,_ he thought to himself.

“It’s a simple question. Like, beyond easy to ask, I’m just really...Ryo do you want to, you know...like...go out with me?” he asks, their eyes meeting again. Ryo pauses, both his hands on the towel and stopping in the middle of rubbing down his hand with it. His eyes were wide, clear blues staring back at his deep browns.

“Go...go out with you?” he asks, sounding slightly confused, but also surprised and curious.

“Y-yea, like...be...be my boy...friend.” he trails off, his entire face hot like the hellfire he could spit from his mouth and spread from his body. His heart was pounding so loud and his blood was rushing so fast that he felt like he couldn’t hear anything but that. Ryo probably thought he was a big fool because that’s really what he felt like at the moment. He focuses his vision on Ryos face, gasping when he saw the soft pink blush start to spread on his cheeks.

Cute.

He was so cute!

“Akira...do you mean that?” 

“Yes! I do. I really, really, do.” he says, grasping both his smaller hands in his own, the towel still between them. Something about this seemed so corny, but Akira felt a weight lifting from his chest regardless. But with baited breath, he wanted to see what Ryo would say to him. He’d wait as long as he needed for an answer, he didn't mind. He watches Ryo duck his head a bit, trying to hide his face away. He’d never seen him like this, seeming so shy and caught off guard.

Though really, if Ryo had done the same thing he’d probably react goofy about it himself.

“I don’t know what to say...I’m surprised that you’re asking me this at all.” Ryo says, squeezing Akiras hands within his own grasp. They were both silent for a bit, as if Ryo was thinking, but it seemed more like he was trying to get himself to answer.

“Um...if you need more time, I don’t mind. You don’t even have to say yes. I’m just happy that you’d listen to m--”

“I do!”

Akira stops, eyes wide as he stares at Ryo , seeing the shine in his eyes when he looked back up at him. Was he really hearing this? Something was building up in him, be it more tears or suddenly his heart was trying to escape from his chest, he wasn't sure. It was anything but a bad feeling.

“I do want to be your significant other. Your boyfriend.” he says, never breaking eye contact again. Akira was stunned, trying to process everything he was feeling all at once because it was really a lot.

“Ryo if I wasn’t covered in this shit I’d hug you so hard right now. I also think I’m in shock.”

Ryo laughs, a full hearty laugh. He covers his mouth with one of his hands, shoulders shaking as he found it so amusing. Akira smiles, starting to laugh as well.

“I’m glad you liked my answer. This explains why you asked me about dating that time.” he says, thinking back to the conversation. Akira nods, dwelling on the warm and excited feelings that were running rampant in his chest. However, he suddenly realises they are still standing sort of out in the open and he was pretty naked and still covered in demon yuck.

“We can maybe like...elaborate on this back at your place? I just remembered I’m very much naked and it's getting a little uncomfortable being covered in this stuff.”

“Oh, of course.” he says, just handing him the towel so he could continue wiping down. It wouldn't be the same as a shower, but it would have to wait till they got back. Akira puts on a pair of pants, just until they get to Ryos home. Their fingers brush from him handing Ryo the towel and he sees him smile as he threw it in the trunk.

Akiira would definitely have to thank Jenny for that sort of cryptic, but helpful advice.

* * *

Ryo felt different after really thinking about the fact that Akira was his boyfriend. All his and no one else’s. He knew how selfish that sounded, but his heart and mind didn’t think it was such a bad thought. 

Things didn’t change that drastically after they established their relationship and how its status was changed. Despite how Akira acted relatively normal around him like usual , he did do somethings much differently.

He would wrap an arm around Ryos waist, his large hand heavy against his side. It was a comfort to Ryo for some reason, and he welcomed the touch all the time. Pressed against Akiras side as they watched party goers from above at a club that seemed similar to the sabbath, but a bit less wild. Other times Akira would have an arm around his shoulders while they sat on his couch, his head resting against Ryo as he reaching a hand up to gently scratch at the devilmans head, fingernails grazing his scalp.

Everything about their new level of intimacy was exciting to Ryo. Sure, they never were against touching each other, but this was something that set off the endorphins in his brain. More so than usual. Greater than the rush of driving his car at speeds exceeding the legal limits, or shooting off his high powered guns, or even the excitement of watching Akira obliterate demons.

He felt like he was becoming addicted.

They cuddled a few times, with Akira laying against him, on top of him as he scrolled through twitter on his phone. The warmth of his body was greatly appreciated, and Ryo would rub his broad back and shoulders with his unoccupied hand. He’d hum softly as Akira nuzzled him, arms around his middle as he buried his face into his pale neck. He makes a soft noise when the devilman presses a kiss to his skin, not uncommon since they’d recently gotten into the idea of sharing kisses, but none so like this. 

He was becoming addicted to that too, lips meeting every so often and either one of them would initiate it. Ryo basked in the glory of Akira kissing him back when he started it with a soft peck, not caring if his were slightly chapped or if he got sloppy with the reciprocation. He enjoys knowing he makes Akira groan when he slips his tongue against his lips, asking for entry and smiling when it was granted. He knew Akira wanted to do something like that, he could tell by how eager he was with his own tongue. 

They both felt the strongest urges to be closer , with Ryo neglecting what he was doing on his laptop to give Akira his full attention, his back against the couch cushions as Akira embraced him by wrapping his arms around him. Their lips barely parting except to remember to breathe and only short few moments later were they back at it again. Ryo grips the dark shirt underneath his palms, a soft noise slipping from his mouth everytime he felt the sharp prick of Akiras teeth against his lips making him feel a deep seated heat blossom in his body. 

Akira was settled between his legs, bodies so close together with barely any space between them. He suppresses a whimper when Akira pulls away, his lips wet and pink from their lip locking. He wants to pull him back in, but he starts to press kisses to his face, making him grunt and squirm underneath him. He hears laughter and feels another kiss to his forehead before Akira pulls away some to look at him. His smile was warm and loving, almost too sappy even for Ryo. He halfway expected Akira to be hard as a rock, with how they were laying and how heated things got for a moment. Yet he wasn’t. He was more embarrassed about the way Akira was looking at him more so than wondering why he didn’t have a boner.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he finally asks, furrowing his eyebrows when Akira laughs again.

“Cause you’re so pretty to me.”

Ryo wanted to sink right into the couch to hide his face from Akira, who just gives him another kiss to his lips and smiles when he feels his slender fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt once again.

* * *

Akira told Miki about it the immediate day after he asked Ryo out, and of course this resulted in her slapping his arm and congratulating him. Despite his strong body, she still packed a punch in those slaps.

“ I know you told me this days ago, but I’m still excited for you!” she says while leaning against his door frame as he sits crossed legged on his bed, staring at his phone and idly petting Tako. The cat was laying in his lap, enjoying the attention brought on him from Akiras hand brushing down his fur. He blushes, hunching his shoulders and looking over at Miki, who just grinned. So far both her and Miko have been teasing him, and all it did was make him wanna groan.

“ Yea, its like...kinda surreal? I was so afraid he was gonna say no or tell me something equally terrifying.” he says, now using both hands to scratch at the cats belly once he turned over. “But it’s great, like, really amazing. I’m...really happy.” he begins to smile warmly. Miki sees this and she begins to smile as well, her arms loosely crossed over her middle.

“I’m glad. You always seem so sad with your parents gone all the time, so I think it’s good for you to have just more than us in your life, you know?” she says, watching him start to mess with Takos paw pads.

“Hmm, yea, I mean I do still miss them---the calls are nice! But yea, having so many people I care about around me is really nice. Having Ryo here is probably the best---not that I’m saying it wasn’t good before that!” he says, finally looking up at her. “But I missed him a lot. Being so close to him now feels really good.I just like knowing he's okay and I can like, actually see him and look out for him. Like he did for me when we were kids.”

“That's really sweet, Akira. You’re just a big ol’ romantic.” she replies, giggling when he blushes hotly. 

“You’re making me look like a sap!”

“Well you are! It's not a bad thing! I think it's so cute.” she says, laughing as he groaned. 

Deep down he agreed with Miki, but at the same time embarrassment was really high on his list of things he was feeling at the moment.

* * *

It was one of those nights where there wasn’t any demon hunting, instead the two of them ended up doing much more sightseeing than anything. Ryo said it was something about keeping tabs on areas with high demon activity, but Akira had a feeling this was more like Ryos way of saying “let’s go on a date but I’m not going to say it’s one” since at one point they ended up with ice cream and had a relatively calm day. They spent hours out and away, up until it was dark. Nine at night to be exact. Akira decides to stay the night, glad that he didn’t have to worry about school the next day. It being his last year, he felt torn between being occupied with doing things with Ryo and half doing things concerning his home life and school life combined. Hunting demons felt like such and odd side job, but he and Ryo were doing good work despite it all.

When they reach his home, they found themselves standing on the foyer still, with Ryo up against the adjacent wall after they closed the door. Akira had his hands shoved up the blondes shirt, glad it wasn’t like his usual baggy button ups like he used to wear all the time. The stretchy cotton moved up with his arms as he rubs his warm hands against cool skin, his lips hot on Ryos neck and his teeth grazing over sensitive spots. He hears him gasp, feeling all ten of his fingers either gripping his jacket or threading through his hair. He feels where Ryo is bound, his hands careful up near his chest.

“Can...can I?” he asks softly, pulling away to look into his eyes. He’d ask sometimes, afraid of moving too fast or touching him too roughly, despite the fact that Ryo encouraged it multiple times. 

“Yes. Please.” he replies back almost just as quietly, voice breathy and needy. Akira could hear it, he could smell it and he could feel it oozing off of Ryo. He wanted him to touch more, more than he usually had. He kisses him and lets him shrug off his stark white jacket, not caring as it fell to the ground. Eventually they end up in his bedroom, clothes coming off slowly with no rush. 

They kept their underwear on, not exactly leaning toward anything but wanting to touch and be touched. Ryo pulls the half binder over his head, and Akira just watches from where he sat on the bed. He doesn’t urge Ryo and just keeps his eyes trained on his back. His shoulders and just observes for a moment before moving forward. He kisses the area where his shoulder blades would meet if he hunched this shoulders, his hands resting on his waist as he rubbed his sides gently. Ryo wasn’t tense and he wasn’t shy, but he felt himself shiver regardless.

He turns when Akira pulls away, and blinks when his hand came up to cup his face. This was a kind of intimacy that made him feel like he was melting.

He crawls more onto the bed and meets Akira half way when he moves his arms to embrace him, their bodies close like the many times they ended up in hugs like this. But it was more than that now. Akira's skin was so warm that it burned him in a good way. His own cool skin was absorbing that abundant heat and he wanted to be consumed by it. His eyes close and he feels the soft press of a kiss to his cheek, above his eye and eventually his lips. They move soft and slow, so tender and gentle that Ryo felt like he was swimming in the feeling. Before, he was sure he’d just want harsh kisses, for Akira to throw him down and ravish him with hickeys, but right now, they were in a tranquil state that he didn't want to leave.

Akira lays him down and they met halfway with another kiss and Ryo relaxes immediately, feeling a strong tongue lap into his mouth when they share a now open mouthed kiss. A soft growl, like a purr leaves Akiras chest through his mouth when Ryo starts to gently rake his nails over the nape of his neck and over his shoulders. They part, with Ryo keeping his eyes closed again and just breathing, and allowing Akira to continue. His kisses trail down over his jaw, on his chin and even down his neck. He nips, not biting like Ryo almost thought he might do, and it sends a tremulous feeling down his spine. 

Something about being handled so gently had Ryo more riled up than any fantasy he had of Akira being rough and rowdy. More nips were felt, more butterfly kisses and gently sucks here and there. He didn’t do it very hard, but enough to leave faint marks on his skin. Ryo felt like he was teetering on the edge of wanting to be bit and almost letting Akira continue to be this soft.

“Bite me.” 

Akira breathes against his skin, one of his hands cupping Ryos face like before and running a thumb over his lips, that Ryo promptly lets his tongue run against. He opens his eyes, half lidded and almost sleepily just to see Akras deep brown irises looking back at him.

“You sure? It’ll sting. I don’t wanna hurt you that bad.” he says, worry soft on his voice. Ryo appreciates it, but doesn’t want him to think that he’d be scared of a little pain.

“I want you to.” he replies, reaching up to mimic him by cupping his face as well. Akira just gives him a sheepish smile before he kisses his lips once more before delving down to his neck and shoulders. He mouths at a spot, sucking there longer than he had with the other spots before he begins to nip at his skin, his teeth sharp and beginning to nick Ryos flesh a bit more than any normal human teeth would. He gasps as Akira slowly begins to bite him. It's not enough to cause a lot of damage, but enough to cause a bruise to form and even more so he bleeds just a bit. Ryo feels Akiras large hands cup his breasts and squeeze them at the same time, making him gasp softly and reach his own hands up to keep them there. He shudders, feeling Akira pull his mouth away and lap at the bite. He hums, body vibrating with warmth, opening his eyes to see Akira licking his lips and blushing when Ryo say the hints of blood on his lips. He smiles, reaching up to cup his cheeks and pull him in for a kiss, not minding the mild coppery taste.

“I know that was strange, but I do enjoy the little nips you give me. I just wanted to feel a full bite from you.” he replies, smiling when Akira pouts at him.

“I mean...I liked it too. I was just afraid of like...being too rough.” he says, nuzzling him some. Ryo chuckles brushes his hands over his shoulders, just looking up at him carefully.

“No matter what you do to me, I know it’s never because you want to hurt me or to be cruel. I trust you.” he replies, blinking when he feels a teardrop against his cheek. Akira was crying, but it wasn’t out of sadness. He sees the smile on his face and blinks when he’s suddenly pulled into his embrace. 

He returns it, arms wrapping around his neck and holding him close as they both just relaxed. Taking in each others warmth and just feeling. Akira can hear Ryos heartbeat, it’s gentle and calming down from the excitement from just moments before. His was doing the same. It was quiet between the two of them and before Ryo can assume Akira has fallen asleep he feels the start of more kisses against his skin. Over the sensitive bite and on down. He watches carefully, blue eyes locked onto Akira as he travels down between the valley of his breasts, kissing the space between them. Truth be told, Akira was a tits kinda guy, Ryo knew this ( as if he didnt know what Akira looked for when it came to raunchy imagery) and found it amusing that Akira was usually just into laying his head on his chest and staying there for hours, practically purring like a content cat. Something about the way Akira kissed his skin made him feel another shiver run up and down his spine, and he reaches his hands up to touch Akiras back, feeling his strong muscles there and he gently digs his fingernails into his skin when he presses a simple kiss to the soft swell of his breast.

He closes his eyes and wants to get lost in his tender touch all over again.

* * *

Akiras been thinking about moving in with Ryo for a while, mostly because he and Miki were both one foot out of the door into adulthood and he’s sure that by now the Makimuras would love to use the extra room for something else. He knew they weren’t eager to just boot them out, but at the same time he really liked the idea of living with Ryo.

Their relationship was flourishing, they made time around being busy with complex matters in order to spend most of their downtime together. He brings the idea up to him one day while they are perched on the roof, waiting for their target to come out of hiding. He was already transformed, letting Ryo sit in his lap as they waited and finding it cute that he was just so much smaller than him when he was like this.

“You know, I was going to bring the same idea up to you. I’m glad that we’re on the same page.” Ryo replies after hearing Akira explain it to him. He was looking out of some night vision goggles, scoping the lower area and examining their surroundings carefully. 

“I’m so glad. I mean, I wasn’t not going to ask if you if I could, but I wanted to talk about it first.” 

“Understandable. Though, I’d have told you yes regardless.” Ryo replies, giving him a bit of a sly smile. “I know that you miss me terribly, so being close to me will just remedy that, hmm?” he says, chuckling a bit and starting to ready his handgun when they both hear the ruckus from down below.

“I wax poetic about missing you during exam time one night and you won’t let it go!” he whines, letting Ryo get up before he stands as well, wings spreading wide.

“But I adored it so much.” he coos, letting Akira scoop him up before the devilman hops off of the building and lands on the demon, startling one or two others that seemed to have crawled out with it. Akira wants to whine some more, but seeing Ryo laugh and hop down from his arms to start pumping demons full of lead made him blush, finding it incredibly attractive to see him move the way he does around carnage and violence.

* * *

Graduation was pretty emotional for Akira, tears falling from his eyes almost every minute. He cried on his friends, family and other classmates nearly. He knew it was ridiculous, but he couldn’t help but live up to his moniker as the crybaby.

He sobs when he sees Ryo show up, wearing a stylish white outfit as usual and hugging him, bouquet of flowers in his hand as well. What truly surprised him was the fact that Ryo actually managed to get his parents there as well. Akira felt like he was probably going to dry up from all the tears he was letting out. Despite this being a shared day of celebration for him and the other former students, he was just so happy to see all his loved ones all at once. They spend some time at the Makimura household, and surprisingly Ryo stays instead of slinking off to be a recluse in his home. 

He starts to introduce Ryo to those who didn’t know him, glancing over to see Miki giving him her biggest grin as Ryo explains jumps in at the end to explain that he was Akira’s suitor. His words entirely. His parents expressed their lack of surprise, which made Akira blush since he couldn’t believe they were banking on this happening ever since he talked to them non stop over the phone about Ryo being in Japan again.

After all the excitement, things wind down and Akira spends some time catching up with his parents, who expressed their happiness over Akira doing so well and finding someone who would look after him. Ryo smiles at him when he tells them that Akira was in good hands, which only makes him blush harder as they held hands.

Later on, he decides to go home with Ryo to spend the rest of his time with him, the two of the sitting at his pool with their pants rolled up and legs in the water. Before, Ryo hadn’t even spared a glance at his pool ever since the incident with that demon fight, but slowly he was learning to appreciate having it again after getting in with Akira holding him or just dipping his feet in the water every once in a while. They stared out over the city, looking up as Jenny let them know she would be gone for the night. She had picked them both up earlier and actually had dinner with them for once. It was nice, though Akira felt dumb for thinking Jenny didn’t ate anything with her mouth, once wondering if she just absorbed it into her body.

Akira wraps his arm around Ryos waist, the blonde leaning up against him and doing the same with his own arm. They talked quietly, about moving him in soon and making plans for their shared life they were going to have. 

“Now, I do want you to know that we can share a bedroom. My closet has more than enough space for your clothes as well.”

“Ooh, sounds good to me. Besides, I’ve missed getting to lay with you. It’s not as fun if I’m by myself.” he adds, pulling away to lay back with his arms behind his head. Ryo rests his hands by his sides, closing his eyes and just feeling the cool night wind blow over them a bit.

“I’ve missed your warmth as well. I will admit it’s a bit harder to fall asleep if you’re not here with me.”

Akira hums in response and reaches a hand up to rub at Ryos back, his hand slipping under his shirt to feel his skin. He can instantly tell that he was relaxing, seeing his shoulders slump a bit as he exhales softly, his eyes closing and those dark lashes resting against his cheeks.

Even in wake of a full moon and the glittering of the city lights like stars on earth, Ryo always looked so much more beautiful than anything within the confines of nature itself.

* * *

As if they were finally christening the event of Akira being fully moved in after nearly a month , one of their adrenaline filled nights ends and begins again with them wrapped up within each other. He has Ryo pressed down against the mattress, clothes strewn on the floor and underwear hanging off of Ryos leg as Akira pressed down into him, making him shiver from the feeling of Akira deep within him. His hips squashed against the blondes ass while he got lost in that heat, chasing it as if he couldn't get in any deeper than that.

Ryo just clings to him, thighs squeezing against his sides and his body was pushed against the tangled sheets beneath them as Akira undulated his hips. Ryo caught the sight of his tail, as if he was slowly starting to shift forms. It wraps around his leg as if he was anchoring himself, but before he could really think anything else of it he just feels himself getting lost in the motions while trying to remember how to say Akiras name.

Rough hands knead at his ass or press between them to handle his erection, sending him cascading into sensations he never could keep composure over. Everything was warm from the heat radiating off of Akira’s body, and the full feeling of Akira’s length deep and thick inside of him. 

He could only hold onto Akira, nails digging into his skin and face buried against his shoulder, moans slipping past his lips and vibrating over the devilmans skin. Akira had his eyes screwed shut, panting and groaning throughout their coupling. Within him and through him Ryos moans thrummed through his body and only seemed to make him want to get swallowed up by him, or even more so to consume him.

It gets a bit wild after Ryo begins to plead and Akira quickens his pace, unable to stay on the slow grind he started up before.

“A-Ah-kira, j-just like that. Fuck!” he rasps, head tilting back when the devilman growls low in his throat and slams into him recklessly with no rhythm, the sensations beginning to send him far over the edge. Ryo cums between them, too caught up in the motions when Akira moves up and bends him in half, pistoning his hips and letting out a beastly groan from hearing those clipped moans from Ryo. 

He slams inside, bottoming out once again and filling him. Akira shivers, cum pouring into Ryo, though he remembers before he gets too lazy and tired to pull out. He’s now calming down from his high state of arousal slowly before he pays attention, flushed from seeing how much of his own cum ruined the sheets. Ryo sits up slowly, trying to catch his breath and get a hold of his thoughts. 

“ Sorry, I uh...almost forgot to completely pull out before the flood gates burst.” he says sheepishly, blinking when Ryo snorted, looking just as flushed as he was.

“ Its fine. I mean, I expected this. “ he replies, giving him his usual soft smile. “ I might be a bit exhausted, but I do think I’m in the mood for a shower instead of just going straight to sleep.”

“Mmm, that sounds great.” Akira answers back in response, standing up with Ryo from the bed. Ryo stands slowly, feeling a somewhat pleasant ache through his body. Akira gathers up any part of the bed sheets they sullied and balls it all up, taking it to a large hamper they had in the closet before following Ryo into the bathroom.

Once Ryo had the water at an acceptable temperature, they both stood under the shower head. They were in each others embrace, just letting the water run over them. Akira eyes the small rivers of water that ran down Ryos skin, wanting to lap at them and drink as if he hadn’t had any water for days. Instead he just stays attuned to the feeling of Ryo against him, how smooth his skin felt and how good it felt to be so close to him. He listens for his heartbeat, something he did a lot. It soothed him, assured him that Ryo was always there with him even if he knew he hadn’t left to begin with.

He feels Ryos hands touch his chest, his soft palms and slender fingers trailing up to cup his face, pulling him in for a kiss. It was slow, chaste even and he just enjoys how supple Ryos lips were, how he loved his kisses. He loved kissing him so much.

When their eyes meet, he sees Ryo just smiling at him, his expression fill to the brim with the kind of warmth he felt oh so often.

* * *

Ryo knows that being in a relationship like this with someone usually meant a lot of things. You cared about them, you wanted to be with them and it was the same from the other end. 

And most of all, you loved them.

He knew this. He always knew this, even as he pined for and wanted Akira, he knew this. He suppressed the thought of love. He suppressed the idea that he knew what it was.

He knew for a fact that he could not deny it, but he continued on the same way. Of course he had these complex feelings for Akira, he enjoyed every waking moment with him. He wanted Akira by his side and to be by his, a current and prevalent wish of his.

Truthfully, he felt like a fool, but he didn’t tell Akira that.

Lately Akira had been so clingy, so affectionate and it wasn’t too far off from how he was normally and Ryo did love every waking minute of it, he felt like something was up. Something was definitely up, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He doesn't dwell on it too much, especially not after he gets his arm crushed up under the fallen in roof of a warehouse where Akira was fighting a demon that was actually giving him trouble. He hears Akira screaming for him, worry heavy and evident in his voice after seeing the roof cave in on Ryo.

He was fine, for the most part, but he heard all the heartbreak in Akiras voice then and it absolutely hurt him. 

“You son of a fucking bitch!” Akira roars, blind rage fueling him as he goes after the hissing, cackling demon that taunted him. Ryo hears rumbling around the debris, almost upset that he couldn't see the fight, but also wanting Akira to hurry and help him out. His arm was in immense pain and he was bleeding from a head wound. This was about the same level of pain he felt at the sabbath back when he broke his leg, except this time he was finding it hard to breath due to the dust and debris. He felt some relief over having a flashlight to keep the darkness at bay while he could only listen to the battle taking place.

He isn’t sure how long he’s been waiting, but it was well over thirty minutes. He was tired, irritated and just wanted Akira.

As if someone was listening to his requests, he hears Akira frantically throwing the broken roof parts away. Labored panting and claws scraping at iron beams and other debris to get it off of him.

“C’mon, c’mon! Ryo!” he says, gasping when he sees him, coat dirtied and somewhat torn. Ryo coughs and looks up at him, grateful to finally be able to see him. Akira brushes the rest of roofing away. Ryo blinks up at him, seeing Akira looming over him still in his devilman form. He smiles, coughing again and causing Akira to gasp and gently help him up.

“Ahah.” he laughs a bit, cradling his broken arm. “ We seem to get into situations like this one too many times, hmm?” he says, not surprised to see Akira crying. Huge, fat tears rolling down his cheeks from his whited out devilman eyes.

“Ryo...Ryo I was so...I thought. Ugh.” he says, ready to sob. He holds Ryo close, mindful of his arm and any other places he might be hurt in. Ryo hushes him softly and kisses his wet cheeks, his other hand touching the side of his face.

“Akira...I’m alright.”

“No, you’re hurt...Ryo I thought I almost lost you again.” he says, his voice full of worry. Ryo can tell that he’s upset, and honestly if Akira was in the reverse situation, Ryo would feel shame over not being able to protect him from harm. He understands completely.

“And you didn't. I meant what I said when I told you that I trusted you. I know you’d do everything within your power to at least make sure I make it out of our escapades alive. And I’d do the same for you too.” he replies back, watching him transform back to his human self. Akira nods, knowing Ryo was right at least. He sees the pained look on Ryos face the longer they stand there and sure enough Akira is ushering him to the hospital.

A broken arm and awful bruises on his body. He had a bit of a head injury, but he was released fairly quickly from the hospital due to his fast healing rate. Akira was glad for that, but it didn’t make him cling any less to Ryo. He laid with him in bed while he was on his computer, not using it for not much more than watching movies or checking his twitter since Akira was adamant about him getting some rest. Ryo protested against it at first, but he gives in when he sees that this will get him cuddles and kisses from Akira.

He was so relaxed, any stress and tensions on his body or mind gone as Akira gently kneaded his sore thighs, moving on from them to just spooning up close to Ryos side. Ryo reaches his hand up to pet at Akiras head that he'd laid on his shoulder, smiling when he heard the low rumble in his chest. The sound of a very content devilman.

Akira later brings Ryo lunch in bed, telling him that he needed to eat actual full meals and not nibble on a rice cake and then leave it at that. Ryo pouts, pushing around the bonito flakes on top of his rice a bit. The meal consisted of that and grilled fish, which Ryo did like to eat, but admittedly he felt like a child whenever Akira scolded him for not eating properly.

“You make me feel so special, bringing me lunch in bed.” he says, smiling over at him as he slowly ate his food in small bites. Akira nods, stuffing his larger bowl of rice and meat into his mouth.

“I just want you to take a well needed rest. I know you heal really fast, but just...you know. Take a load off, okay?” he says, looking at him seriously. Ryo nods , not wanting to go against Akira's wishes even though he was tempted to finish the lecture he was preparing for something he had coming in the next week.

They finish eating and resume their relaxing day by watching some movie on netflix, only idly paying attention as Ryo fiddled with Akiras long fingers, his larger hand resting over his stomach. 

“I feel so small compared to you sometimes. Your hands are huge.” he points out, his own fingers a bit shorter than his. His hands were slender and delicate, with manicured nails and ever present pale skin. Akira laughs and brings his hand up to his lips, kissing his knuckles gently.

“I like your little baby hands. “ he teases, grinning as Ryo gave him a narrow eyed look.

“I do not have baby hands.”

“They’re baby hands compared to mine.”

Ryo huffs and pinches Akiras hand, giving him a sly smile as he yelped and waved his hand around. He chuckles and pats his cheek gently.

“You’re the worst.”

“Only for you.”

Akira sighs and wraps his arm around him, letting Ryo roll gently until he was laying on top of him. The computer remained on the bed stand as they ignored it, with Ryo keeping his casted arm resting on Akiras chest comfortable and his other hand near his head and fingers threaded into his hair. They share a kiss, pecking each others lips softly before sharing a deeper, less chaste one. Ryo tilts his head a bit, slotting their lips together just as they have many times before. He pulls away and mimics what Akira always did to him, pressing kisses against his cheeks , his jaw, his chin and his forehead.

His last kiss was on the tip of his nose, soft laugh leaving his lips as Akira shivered and shook his head. He looks at Ryos face as he smiles, a grin present and his pearly white teeth peeking out from behind his lips. His eyes were lidded as he laughed, the genuine presence of joy there on his face just for him to see. Akira was overwhelmed with emotion, enough for his eyes to water and his mouth to open and without a hesitant thought, he speaks.

“I love you.”

Ryo gasps, eyes widening after he hears it. Akira has never said that to him before. After nearly a year of being in the relationship, he hadn’t said it. Of course they cared about each other, and of course there was an unspeakable amount of intimacy between them that could account for all of that. However, they didn’t delve deep like this. They didn’t over step the highest threshold of emotional boundaries. Even if they did not mutually agree to this verbally, they were both thinking it. He opens his mouth, bottom lip trembling as he searched for the words to say. He could barely think as his mind went blank.

His heart was pounding and he could feel something rising with in him. Filling up his chest, was a feeling he was both sure and also unsure of. It was rushing in and ready to burst.

Tears fell from his eyes. Slow, one after the other. He cried.

Droplets fell onto Akiras chest as Ryo stares at him, unable to stop himself.

“Ryo?” he asks, worried that maybe he hurt him or that maybe he did something wrong. 

There was only one thing on Ryos mind. One thing that he had denied to himself . The feeling that had been growing inside of him for so long. So deep within his bones, seeped in it for as long as he’s been alive.

Akira loved him.

“Akira…” he says softly, his tears still flowing.

“You...you’re crying.” Akira answers back just as soft, his own tears rolling over his cheeks to match. Ryo blinks, feeling another river of tears begin to flow. He starts to smile slowly, a soft sob mixed with a laugh. He wasn't upset. He wasn't hurt. He was happy.

And filled to the brim with emotion.

As sure as he was that there as a moon in the sky and the lights on earth reflected the stars in the sky, he knew deep down what this feeling was. He felt a heat hotter than Akiras hellfire blooming within his chest. His bright blues meet Akiras deep browns, eyes shining in unison as they shared the same gaze they only held for each other. Akira’s strong, warm hands reaching up to cup his face and wipe at his tears. He presses his free hand over one of Akiras, wishing to keep it there and continues to smile at him

“I love you too, Akira.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for checking out my story! I appreciate you taking the time to read it! Until next time!


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